Hyderabad: 24 Jue 2023: "When did she feel the safest? The most secure? When she was with him. Yes, she was always a strong willed girl, taking no crap, being the strong one for everyone. That was the role she took on all her life happily. It was part of her makeup. She knew no other way to be. Yet, what was behind all that strong exterior? A fragile delicate soul that questioned everything, over-thought what someone said and how they said it.
She was smart and confident, yet not full of herself. Confident, but had so many dancing insecurities within her. Insecurities that were unfounded, but needed reassuring every once in awhile. Trauma does that to a person. There were times he initiated saying things to reassure her and make her smile.
Sometimes out of the blue which just made her beam. Other times, she just outright asked him. Not because she didn't know the answer, but simply because she just wanted to hear it. Hearing him say how he felt about her and things within the confines of their relationship made her smile, feel loved, and secure. She can be feeling insecure and uneasy because of her own over-thinking one minute, and then totally reassured and at ease in the next- just from a few simple words from him. Sometimes he even felt it from afar while he was at work. He just felt something. He knew.
She didn't even have to say a word. Other times, she asked for that little reassurance by asking 'Miss me? How much? Love me immensely? What will you do to me next time you see me?' Answers he happily gave her quickly and easily because they were all true. All deep within him. She knew that. She knew his feelings, emotions, wants and desires. But to a woman, knowing and feeling it is one thing. Hearing the spoken words is another. Every now and then we need to hear it. Some girls, like her, need to hear things more often due to traumatic events and losses in life that broke her. Those things really take a toll on your thoughts and emotions, and you need more reassuring than the average girl. And that's okay.
She thought it made her weak asking certain questions for reassurance from him. But she's learning its not weak. It's strong because you know what you need emotionally and asking for it. You know yourself and you're respecting your emotional needs. You're self aware. That's strength through all the trauma. Asking for help, asking for reassurance from the one you love with everything you encompass- is raw honest communication. He doesn't view her as weak at all when she asks him. He views her as the strong woman he loves and adores, going through something emotionally hard, and will always pull her out of her dark spots when she asks or not. He's her safe place of no judgments, just love.